I have killed

by alyssa   Aug 2, 2004


I killed my self to day
I took a blade and cut out my heart
I stabbed my thoughts
I burned my feelings
I sliced open my soul
And let it bleed all over the hard wood floor
I became lifeless
All I see is blood and fear
I am hollow
I am alone
I am dead
No one can save me now
I have killed my self
Not physically
But mentally
I am finished
All I have to do now is to sit here
And wait to die physically

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  • 16 years ago

    by Roxiee An

    Not physically
    But mentally

    this line is not well suited in this poem
    Though it expresses the meaning but it adds a stop to the rhythm and secondly dont use so much i's in the poem. The reader loses interest when you got in deep describing just yourself . Mix it up with third person

    Rest everything wa good
    4/5

    take care,
    you can improve I belive:-)

    Roxiee

  • 18 years ago

    by AJ

    Hey, I like it. Good use of words. Keep it up. Thanks for the comment. Take care.

    ~no more

  • 19 years ago

    by XxXangeltearsXxX

    wow that was so cool.......that was really symbolic and very strong!!! great work! check summa mine...they suck but meh.......check em anyway!!!!

  • 19 years ago

    by Lmay

    I really like this poem! you use your words so effectivly!! well done hun,
    as always, hugs and love,
    Lmay xXx

  • 19 years ago

    by Taylor

    Another great poem Remember you can tell me anything . . . Its been good talking to you Keep writing

    Love, Taylor

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