In the name of our child's love

I heard the ringing from my bag
It was my mobile phone
Unsure whether to answer the call
As the number was unknown.

I picked up although I shouldn't have
Hearing a deep heavy breathing voice
A murmur almost a hidden whisper
Had to hang up I had no choice.

My baby boy was crying so loud
From his slumber he did awake
And when I heard the sound of his cries
What could I do but attend his aid.

Then the phone rang once more
I screamed “hello” into the other end
A haunting voice spoke to me so clear
Said, “Check the door my friend”.

Then it all came back to me
I recognised that voice on the end of the phone
They said you would never get parole
If you did you'd never find our home.

The knock at the door was so sharp
Everything froze I held my breath
My son almost knew to be silent
Sensing my fear at the extent of its depth.

Thought came rushing flooding in
Of the despicable thing you did
How you took everything from that young family
In cold blood you murdered that kid.

You deserved being locked up for what you did
Shamefully I took my son and moved away
Deep down I knew you knew he was yours
And that you'd come looking for him one day.

The pounding so heavy and louder
The door is about to crash right in
I stare into my child's eyes
Knowing our night is only about to begin.

He came hard busting in through my front door
Screaming and cursing for his son
I begged for him to leave us alone
That the cops had already been rung.

He did not care and he held such rage
Blackness and evil I visioned in his eyes
The panic really settled in
When I noticed the gun resting at his side.

He yelled for us to leave with him
I told him there was no way we ever could
He said if he couldn't be with us
Then there was no way no other person would.

He was going to take from us
The beautiful home we had built
One thing I didn't guarantee
Was the burden he would leave me of guilt.

Surely I believed he was crazy
That he would kill my son then me
Then he directed the gun at his own head
And pleaded so desperately that was sorry.

Sorry for the hurt he had put us through
For the tragic sorrows and endless shame
Couldn't bare to do it a minute longer
That he only had himself to blame.

That single shot rang so loud
I had his blood on my hands and face
But he is my child's father
And no one can ever take that place.

Each and every single year
Our son and I take flowers to his grave
For he sacrificed his life for us
It was our futures he thought he could save.

I know despite what he has done
That he now sits with God above
He gave his life and the ultimate
In the name of our child's love…