Attack of My Own Personality

*sorry if this is a little confusing, that's how I wanted it to be*

Tonight I was staring at the moon,
As we drove down the road.
I want to fly among the stars,
Uncover their secret code.

They must have some magic spell,
Powerful as it may be.
They make me fake my happiness,
I fear no one can see.

I don’t know how they do this,
Take a hold of me.
Why can’t they leave me alone,
Stars, just let me be.

I’m tired of faking my glee,
Pretending I don’t hear the lies.
Do you think I really believe that you care,
I want to break down and cry.

Don’t you realize I am dying inside,
Don’t you notice I never smile.
My heart is shattered as we speak,
Your sadistic thoughts stretching for a mile.

What have I ever done to you,
I only tried to show my love.
Was it just to much for someone,
Who thought they reached so far above.

You may think you’re better,
I find you so much lower.
When I really needed you,
You ran away you coward.

I only wanted you there,
You think I am hurting inside now.
You should have seen me then,
As you sat proudly under your crown.

You thought you were such the Queen,
That was just a mask.
You too, tried to hide the sorrow,
You did it through that flask.

Now it’s just too bad,
I never will return.
This is what you get,
I hope it really burns.

I know you feel the same,
Like no one really cares.
You made it so much worse for me,
To put me down made it easier for you to bare.

I’m sorry you get pleasure,
Out of seeing others cry.
I guess you really pay this time,
For that one chance you got to fly.

Now that I am gone,
I never will come back.
You may have hurt me,
Mine was so much better of an attack.

You may have tricked me,
It’s true I really did love you.
You wasted all my sympathy,
You stupid hating fool.

I hope you die alone,
Just as I may do.
At least I no longer feel,
For that horrible stubborn you.

I gave you so many chances,
As many as I could handle.
Finally I gave up on you,
Giving back our relationship candle.

I no longer want anything to do with you,
I have so much hate locked up.
Come around again,
Your head I will corrupt.

My tears are slowly running down,
As I think of all I have just thought of me.
Why do I hate myself so much,
What am I not able to see.

Sure I see the scars,
My worst depression days.
I see everything I’ve been through,
Sometimes I love my stubborn ways.

I think of what I have accomplished,
Nothing too important.
My life I need to erase,
That’s all I really want.

Please God,
Help me through this,
I need to find my way,
Discover all I have missed.

I passed up so many happy days,
Crying in my room.
I only want your affection,
I don’t want my tormenting gloom.

Just for once,
Try not to fake it.
Believe it or not I can see right through,
Every little bit.

Megan 2004 §