Goodbye for now

Do you know how it feels to have nobody care?
standing beside them, but I'm not there
they look at me and see nothing at all
and you all wonder why i always fall
when i look in the mirror i don't see me
i see someone nobody else can see
i don't eat breakfast dinner or lunch
maybe I'll starve, that is my hunch
i wont eat anything, I'll only drink water
my mom will one day know why she lost her daughter
they'll find my body, pale and thin
and when they find my note they'll know the pain within
this is part of my note, so now I'll write the rest
my dear boyfriend, you're really the best
you were always there with your arms around me
i really did love you, but, don't you see
i wasn't happy, i was always in pain
thats why at night i lifted the blade
I'd press it in and slide it fast
and cry out when the pain didn't last
i wanted to hurt i wanted to dry
and i did, thats why I'm saying goodbye
to all my friends when you saw the cuts there
you'd look at me, concern in your stare
gaping at me with widened shocked eyes
you knew what i dealt with, so this shouldn't be a surprise
you know that i don't eat or sleep
but by my bed a blade i keep
when i cant handle it, when it gets to hard
instead of a knife, i used a glass shard
this hurt more, glass would break off in my arm
causing myself that wonderful harm
i was supposed to die two nights ago
but the blade was to dull and blood didn't show
because of that attempt and my failure to do
i now get to say goodbye to you
well i have done that so i guess this is it
but i will die slowly. bit by bit
I'll watch my blood run to the floor
i can see your expression as you walk through the door
you will find my body on the floor by my bed
but now i am finished, because now i am dead

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