My Defeat

Dear Little sis,
I have written my letters,
To family and friends,
There’s only one person left,
That is you, my little sister,
This is the hardest letter for me to write,
Because of all the hurt feeling left between,
Seem to stamp my soul and I felt left alone.

We grew up together,
Always on each others nerves,
We grew away from each other,
As we grew older, with more disagreements.

We barely ever talk,
Or even walk in the same room.
Keeping our distance,
And just lived our separate life’s.

After this we won’t ever talk,
Because cancer is taking my short lived life.
Nothing is working, there’s nothing the cancer can’t defeat.
Painkillers don’t even shut down any of the throbbing pain.
Life is just a game I can’t seem to beat.

I’m sorry I failed you,
Gave you someone like me,
That you could never look up too,
You live an almost perfect life.
Every thing you ever dreamed of when you were little you got,
Besides the relationship between you and me.
Please forgive me,
For all my mistakes,
Please forgive me,
For all your mental pain,
For not being there when I should have been,
And all the times I was a worthless nothing,
For all the times you wished to talk to somebody,
I was off doing drugs,
I was doing things I wish I never did,
Which I why God is probably killing me,
Because I failed you, him and even me.

I just wanted to let you know,
I always admired you,
I wish I had your life,
And positive attention.
I’m not good at admitting a defeat,
But this is to much pain to go through,
I have had enough, sadden with the fact.
I have to face the face of death,
And as you will die and go to heaven,
Most likely I will not,
Maybe God will forgive me, to save me from the flames,
But here is something,
I will surely admit is that I have meet my defeat.

Love you always,
Big sister

P.S. maybe someday we’ll get a second chance.

~i know it starts off weak but hey vote and commit plz~