I stand in front of my mirror
Knife waiting in hand
Ready to slice me
To punish me for not being thin
For not being beautiful
Like all those girls around me
My friends all say I’m pretty
And I’m their object of envy
Wanting to be petite like me
But when I get told this I just laugh
Cos, when I look in the mirror
All I see is a:
Hideous and fat girl
Staring back at me
I see a 5 foot wide blob
Chubby and plump
With acne and flaws
All over my skin
At lunch I never eat
Scared I’ll blow up
Rushing to the bathroom
Every moment I’m free
Stick a finger down my throat
Forcing myself
To get rid of all that fat
Skipping meals, at every chance
Only wanting to thin
Wanting to look pretty
My friends try to stop me
Telling me I’m insane
That I’m becoming ill
That if I become any thinner
I’ll just disappear
But I ignore their pleas
For they don’t understand
They can’t see
What I see in the mirror
The vision I see of me.
So now, I plan to stop
All the pain and shame
I’m sick of what I see
Tired of being
Over-weight and revolting
Sick of all the whispers
Sick of seeing my reflection
Staring back at me
So, I dig the knife
Deep down, into my wrist
Watching the blood flow
As I fall to my knees
I hit the cold, white floor
My breath running out
My chest getting sharper and sharper
As I slowing slip away
And just before I depart
I hearing banging on the door
I hear it smash open
Someone letting out a piecing scream
And the last thing I know
Before my life slips away
Is someone holding me
Wrapped in their arms
