The White Pills Are Failing

Two white pills to take every day
Two white pills to keep suicide away
One bitter taste to help me survive
One swallow to help keep me alive

Dear God I feel my life support is dying
I’m sitting here and I’m trying, I’m trying
But tonight I know my mind will reside
Tonight I’ll be dreaming of sweet suicide

These pills, so small, they used to work
But now I just sit here and hurt
Why won’t they take this pain anymore?
My heart is bleeding, ripped at the core

Feeling so helpless, lost, all on my own
Please somebody help me to be re-sown
Please I don’t want to fall apart again
I don’t think I could cope with that strain

I’m looking in the psychiatrist’s eyes
Crying, pleading with him for some help
Yet he just says to wait until next week
To see if I’m still as frail and weak.

But what happens if I don’t make it till then?
Are you just gonna wait til I overdose again
Is that the only way you will listen to me
Is that my true destiny?

What happens if I’m not as strong as you think?
What happens when my heart starts to sink?
What happens when the pain takes control of me?
What happens when you’re not there to see?

I’m lying here on my blood stained bed
Shaking, trying to escape my head
I’m praying here with my rolling tears
Suppressing all my haunting fears

Wishing someone would help me with this pain
I don’t want to end up in hospital again
Wondering how long, like this, I can last
If I’m going to die please make it fast

Toni x