My Despair

I hold my pain deep inside never allowing it to show,
I keep it in and may never let it go,
this is my own despair,
but I don't think you care,
why do I even bother telling you how I feel,
the depression I have is unreal,
thoughts of suicide scrambled in my brain,
can I ignore all of this or will my death be in vain,
trying to keep in the tears because I don't have a shoulder to cry on,
nor do I have a death bed for me to lie on,
does it even matter if I am here tomorrow,
because I don't think I can take this sorrow,
I need an end to this miserable existence of mine,
I'll either burn in Hell or be with the Divine,
there is only one thing that keeps me alive and well,
it is you that stops me from sending myself to Hell...