So beautiful

She was so beautiful,
so dangerous,
so proud.
and everybody asks why i started at the end and worked back to the beginning.
the reason is simple,
i couldn't understand the beginning until id reached the end.
i don't know how to express that being with someone so dangerous...
was the last time i felt safe.

a foster child,
one home to the next,
i don't believe i will stay where i am,
even the thought of my mother sends chills down my spine.
a foster child,
the new addition.
so many places,
so little time.
no one set place to call my own,
wrists that bleed,
and knives that kill.
eyes are puffy,
fists are clenched.

love comes and goes,
this site is the only thing that saves me,
and i miss her so much,
my curiosity for her danger slowly grows.
someday i wish that shell see me lonely,
see me afraid, see me in peril,
and shell know what shes done to me.
her beauty,
her danger,
her pride.

the flowers painted on the walls,
the stencils.
the few grey hairs she has,
her eyes are like the fires of hell,
they burn within,
not even my cooling waters could extinguish them.

showing her her daughter,
showing her the way,
showing her the pills i took,
leading me astray.

she was so beautiful,
so dangerous,
so proud,
and everyone asks why i started at the end and worked back to the beginning,
the reason is simple.
i couldn't understand the beginning until id reached the end.
i don't know how to express that being with someone so dangerous...
was the last time i felt safe...

no matter how much shes damaged me,
no matter how flawed she is,
i know my mother loves me.