The guilt of enjoyment and love

She sat, relaxed, her look seducing
I couldn't believe it, my dream releasing.
The world seemed bright; it showed me some light,
I felt amazing, but I had no sight.

We enjoyed and smiled, and felt and embraced
And my heart beat, like I was been chased.
With no care for, what was around
I felt in a dream, it was completely sound.

The flowers grew, the summer came early
And my feelings were happy, something good surely.
But things got bad, my fault I suppose
I only realise as she goes.

She’s not alone, in thought and love
But it isn't me that was sent from above
Her heart is full, no room for me
But that is what I couldn’t see

And now I regret, what should have been good
Though it is my fault, I really should
Have thought it through, before she came
And only now, I feel the pain.

My first enjoyment, for a long time
Ended in misery, like it was a crime
So guilt I show, just once again
Will it get better? I wonder when…