Still Smiling

Why won't you let someone
help you?
You're always begging;
begging for help.

You say you're depressed;
angry, suicidal--
you can't trust a soul.

We try to help,
like you ask
us to do.
But you shut us out
time after time.

You leave thinking
"I'll show them...
I'll show all them
muthafcukas!"

You sit alone in your room,
your school books sitting beside you.
You ignore them though.
You're writing something else
to turn in.

For the first time in months,
you go to bed with
a smile dancing across your face.

When you wake
in the morning,
you grab everything
you'll need for the day.

You get on the bus,
smile still dancing across your face.

When you walk into school,
people question why you're
suddenly so happy.
"I did alot of thinking last night,"
is all you reply.

The day rushes by in such a blur
until finally the time has come
that you've been waiting for.

You wait patiently
for everyone to sit down
and start eating.

You slowly pull it out,
unlocking the safety.
You're still smiling.

You stand on a table
and slowly raise
the gun to your head
and pull the trigger.
You're still smiling.