Died In Many Ways

This is for Lisa. Not really very nice but it is how i felt/feel. It might be a bit confusing as there are two voices, one mine, one Lisa's. I know it is very long but please read it. Thank you.

Will someone please hide me?
Keep my face from view,
I don't want you to see my tears,
I don't want to be near you,

Will someone please forget me?
So i have a reason to cry,
So I'm not just stupid and thoughtless,
And no one has to ask why,

Why are you crying Ellie?
As i hide my tears of pain,
There's nothing wrong in your life,
Why do you act insane?

Everyone has problems,
Now that yours have gone,
Why do you cry about?
Why do you always go on?

Ellie somebody loves you,
And you, you love them back,
There's no reason to cry,
Of love you have no lack,

Your family is sorted,
All of it worked out,
They have all stopped fighting now,
But why do you still doubt?

Happiness and laughter,
The smile came back in your eyes,
Why do you try to hide it?
Why live in constant disguise?

Why do you sit in darkness?
And hide yourself from light,
Why can't you stop wanting?
To cut yourself at night,

Why do you dream of dying,
Think of death all day,
Why do you wake up crying?
Realize your life is no dismay,

Screaming thoughts and hurt,
Why do they haunt you still?
Why can't you just forget the past?
You have a new life to fulfill,

I can't forget the past,
The hurt, the pain, the anger,
Stop asking all these questions,
For which there are no answers,

I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
I'm not special or pretty like you,
I'm sorry but i can't help the tears,
They scar me like tattoos,

Marks from blades and glass,
They still sit on my skin,
Why can you not yet see?
This all still lies within,

Ellie you don't need the sadness,
Theres is no need for cuts,
All the old hurt and memories,
They can't hurt you that much,

Not when you have somebody,
That onto their hand you can hold,
Not when you have someone,
To hug you when you are cold,

Not when you have people,
They care; they're all around,
I know sometimes its hard,
But in them help can be found,

You don't know how i feel,
I know that you're sad too,
But you never felt like i did,
When i kept on cutting through,

I know I'm not the only one,
Who makes marks like these,
I know you have scars too,
But try to understand please,

All your questions aren't helping,
They just feed to me more doubt,
You questioning my reasons,
Just makes me want to shout,

Maybe if i scream at you,
Till it all starts to sink in,
You will understand,
The hurt lies under my skin,

The scars are not just physical,
They are branded into my brain,
I have mental scars too,
They bring pain all over again,

Please will you stop questioning,
My reasons, why i still cut,
You will never understand,
What I've felt like, through what I've stuck,

I'm still alive today though,
If you ask me, i don't know why,
All the silly reasons,
The reasons why i cry,

Yes i do still feel like dying,
Even when his hand's in mine,
I know i shouldn't but i do,
You'll learn to accept it in time,

And if you don't you'll wonder,
For the rest of your living days,
Why before i killed myself,
I had died in many ways.

*All comments and votes greatly appreciated as always.*