i like it...gotta check out the next part tho...loves

Wow... Excellent details...lol.. I can't wait to read the 2nd part:)

omg, thats great! im so going to check out part two. xxx

omg...wow....why did that sound like exactly what me and my bf do???? thats wierd..but this poem is incredible..i pictured everything...but w/ me and my bf..lol ...great job

very good, and extremely visualizing

Dang that was HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!! That was good. (I wonder what you DID to get this poem in your mind) hmm. On the serious tip I think this poem was really good. There isn't that many GOOD erotic poems up here and I think yours is the best so far

Well, I read part 2 fist....oops....Both really good. Just amazing.

It was pretty good, but the rhyme was ok, but the sentince length varied to much and it kinda messed up the flow. Other than that it was wonderful.

"Outside we hear storm,"
- a storm* maybe?

"Loving and slow,
Sensual and soft,
Your hands travel lower,
More clothes come off.
You run your hands through my hair,
Kiss my cheek,
Make me feel so loved, you me weak."

^ My favorite stanza :)

good job writing this. Very strong. The flow was off a bit, but it was still good. Keep writing!

~BJ~