Evan, i miss you

Evan, you were my big brother
but you were never around
and now i can only talk to you
when your 10 feet in the ground

That night i didn't mean it
i didn't want you to die
i should of went with you
so i could of died

Ever since that night
i cry myself to sleep
knowing i could of saved you
but instead i just weep

Every night i think of it
and how it could be
how i could be buried beside you
and not live life in misery

I know that you are happy
but you left me here all alone
you left me with people
that do tn understand me
and never leave me the hell alone

They ask whats going on
and if I'm alright
i tell them I'm fine
and then i take out my knife

I cut my skin
hoping to hit a vein
just hoping that i could b happy again

-i made this in 10 minutes, so yea its bad