Sorry Angels

I know this isn't very structured and doesn't have a clear consistent rhyme pattern and i know if i just say that I'll probably get comments saying no, its good but you do have to admit....

Okay so you think you know me?
You seen scars and you think you know who i am?
You think like there's nothing else worth knowing,
You just don't get it, you don't understand,
You've never been there and seen me cry,
You've never tried to understand why,
You've never cared and you never will,
You just carry on with your making me ill,
You aren't the only one who got me down,
But when I'm trying to climb back up,
You just push me down and turn me around,
You are not the source of my depression,
I'm a lot better; I've learned a lesson,
But you need to learn one more than i,
You need to stop making other people cry,
To be honest everyone makes someone cry,
Even if sometimes they don't know why,
But not everyone pushes someone to the blade,
An object so persuading that takes you far from aid,
You don't care though; you don't cut,
There's no reason for you to think about it,
You're just a stupid ignorant s!ut,
Just leave me here,
With my blades and my marks,
Leave me here,
With my fat and your remarks,
I'll be fine,
Just go away,
Let me make no new cuts,
Please not today,
God why is all this pushing me?
Toward the blade,
Why can't i look and see?
See all that is keeping me here,
My boy and my girls,
That took away my fear,
This is breaking me,
Hard and fast,
If i stay like this,
I just won't last,
I will try,
To hold on tight,
I'll keep on gripping,
With all of my might,
But if someone comes,
And stands on my hand,
Please show my friends,
Make them understand,
I tried to hold on so tight,
For all of them,
To help fight their fights,
And to be their friend,
But if i let go,
It wasn't from lack of love,
It was from a lack of strength,
That i should have from above,
But I'm sorry angels,
Both far and near,
Sorry if i go,
Sorry if i can't fight my fear.

*All comments and votes greatly appreciated as always.*