InSaNiTy

It’s two forty five
And I am still alive.

Another few hours it will be day
I still haven’t faded away

The sky is black and unclear
Just like the pain I have here

Feed the pain with more
Ever wonder what it’s all for?

I do every day, that’s why
I’m here … aching to die

I want it, I need it … but when
Can I try again?

Cracked and bruised
So useless and abused

Me? I’m just a vision, not real
Tormented by how I feel

But obviously, I’m not really there,
Otherwise, you’d care

Surrounded by my own blood I bled
Listening to the thud in my head

My thoughts knocking at me to die
My tears itching, asking if they can cry

No, no, no. not tonight, tonight’s for the blade
Tonight, I want to watch myself fade

And listen to the eerie music playing
The morbid things he’s saying

I’ve a wish that when I crawl into bed
Tonight I will fade, that by tomorrow, I’ll be dead

But I know I have some time to wait …
So for now, I’ll just sit, and cut at the hate.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005