I got a call today, I call from the hospital
A call from your mom
Telling me to come.
She told me you screamed out repeatedly
For me to be there
So I lept up from bed, didn't even brush my hair
I brought you some presents, some things to make you smile
I knew that you'd be in there
For a long long while.
I know that you didn't know
That suicide was illegal
But it wouldn't have stopped you anyway.
I got a call today
A call from you
Saying you were in the hospital again,
It's illegal, this time I know you knew.
They signed off the papers
They signed off your life
They signed you off to that woman
The pain stabs like a knife.
Your family doesn't even speak to her
Why didn't you ask for us?
You seem to fade so much
More and more each day
I look at you with her
And I don't have words to say
I want to tell you about how I really feel
But I don't want to lose you even more then I have
I just wanted to tell you that I don't know how to deal.
You pretend every thing's fine.
I guess that works out better for you.
I wonder if anyone else knows what it's like
To lose your best friend
When she's standing right there at your door
But you cant even let her in.
I have so many fears of letting her know my secrets
It's not that I don't trust HER
It's her other friend that I know won't keep it.
How come the other friend's mom got custody?
You weren't even talking to her
You hated her
You wanted her gone.
How did she get all of the papers?
Why doesn't anybody else realize this is wrong?!
There's such a tough load on me,
I know there is on you, too.
But things are falling apart for me
No friends, my family is split,
And to everyone but you, I was just a kid.
Now what?!
What am I supposed to do?!?!?!
I don't know how to live or breath
My whole life was you!
I told you everything
And you told me the same
I just need somebody to listen
Someone to help point out blame.
I'm afraid that all too soon you might be getting a call from the hospital
But I won't be screaming your name
I'm sorry...I know it's illegal
But I don't know what to do with all of this pain.
