Staring From Afar

I have this sudden disire to be loved,
At the side instead I am shoved,
To be needed and wanted,
But fears cause my mind to dread.

I put on that stupid fake smile,
I know now that none of this is worthwhile,
Hiding behind a window of terror,
Knowing now that what I did was in error.

I lose myself in your eyes,
Looking at your from behind my guise,
Searching, trying, wanting, hoping.
Not really sure how I'm coping.

So I stare at your from afar,
Trying to hide my annoying scar,
I see and speak to you everyday,
And yet I feel so far away.

Maybe oneday I'll be strong,
And try to make myself belong,
Until them I can be alone,
Serving you apone your throne.