Hanging On For Tomorrow

Hanging On For Tomorrow

Through the tears, the fears, the heartache and the pain
Through the struggles, the cries, the never ending rain
I was alone…just a shadow in the dark
Holding together my broken bleeding heart

Through the rows, the shouts, the violence and the fights
Through the insults, the dread, the terrifying nights
No one was there, to hold my little hand
To show me love and to help me understand

No, no one was there, was it so very hard to tell
That I was breaking down, that I was going through hell?
But people are never out for one another
They're too selfish to see their child sit and suffer

And suffer I did, through so many endless nights
Listening to your voices, smashed plates, the fights
Wondering if I would ever feel happy once again
Wondering if this sadness would grow into more pain

And it did…so at the young age of eight
I was so full of despair, pain and self-hate
That I wished every night that I hadn't been born
I wished it so bad, for my world had been torn

And none of you knew, you just simply carried on
Oblivious that all of my happiness had gone
Just writing these words fills my eyes with more tears
It reminds me that nothing’s changed over the years

For now, even though I know I was never actually to blame
For those rows between you two, that filled me with such shame
That I was just a little girl, taking the world upon her shoulders
Trying to make everything right, battling life like a soldier

I still cry, why do I cry? After all it’s all in the past
But even though time has moved on, the pain…it still lasts
Here I go again blaming myself for feeling this way
Maybe today has just been …another terrible day

And I know tonight will be the same as every other night
I’ll sit alone, I’ll drench my pillows and I’ll struggle with my fight
And I know tomorrow will be the same, as every tomorrow that has come
So many years have passed me by, but still I come undone

Just like the scars that were stitched upon, my bleeding open wrist
And just like the images of you standing there, using your bare fist
This pain, it just won’t seem to leave, I’m left here suffering alone
It curses and haunts me day by day; it chills me to the bone

But just like the scars that still sit, upon my cold marked arm
Even though I've finally stopped myself from my self harm
One day, like the scars I still wear, the pain will fade away
One day depression will no longer find another excuse to stay

I just hope that day when I’m finally better reaches me very soon
Because I don’t know how long I can last like this, my eyes have poured a monsoon
So for now, I’ll survive and I’ll hang on for tomorrow
And tonight… again, I’ll be drowning out my sorrow

Dont think this is one of my best, was upset and trying to write about the past, any comments would mean a lot as always x