My Secret

Everything I hold onto
Just vanishes before my eyes
And when I need someone to turn to
Nobody ever hears my cries

So I cuddle myself instead
Dry my own eyes on my hand
Shaking and frightened
Because they won’t understand

I feel I’m about to drown
While I tell the world it’s OK
I tell them I’m getting better …
But I’m slipping further away

But I refuse to go down that road
I want to be a happy girl, inspired
So I smile, I laugh and joke
Only to grow more and more tired

So I take a pill to calm me down
And lie to my friends about my agony
Because I’ve been saying it’s OK
But really it’s taking over me

They feel better when I say I’m better
I don’t like to cause them grief
So when I smile and joke, it’s good
Because it gives them some relief

I can’t possibly make they understand
Can’t make them see it through my eyes
So I wipe my own tears, with my own hand
And pray that nobody will realize.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005