A World Away (Part Three)

I lie in bed, innocent lights
Staring back at me
I bring the room to focus
It’s hard to see

My eyes take in the needle
Stuck into my vein
And then I remember
I remember the pain

I think of you, my love
And I see your eyes
Float before me,
Holding me mesmerized

My hand reaches out
But touches only space
I focus hard and see
I never saw your face

I shake my head
The room clears
And as memories flood back
So do the tears

As I lie there choked
I wonder who found me
Drenched in blood
With empty pill bottles around me

Was it you? Are you here?
The curtain is pulled aside –
Is this you now? Are you hurt?
Upset by what I tried?

Questions give way to disappointment
But it's not you, just a nurse
She asks me how I’m feeling
And I say I have never felt worse

My honesty suprises her
But she covers shock with a smile
Tells me it’ll be fine
The doctor will be here in a little while

I try and tell her, it’s you I want
Why are n t you here? Don’t you care?
I cry for you, and then for me
Thinking this is all so unfair

The doctor says that he thinks,
Given my cuts, my overdose
I should be in hospital
So they can watch me close

I know what he means
He means a mental home
I try to tell him no –
But he won’t leave it alone

They take me there under a section
Do they believe I’m insane?
I don’t belong here, they can’t help me …
Because YOU are the only cure for my pain

But you’ve moved on
Months go by in this place
Sometimes I think I see you
But reach out only to touch space

I spend mournful hours just gazing
Looking at you in my mind
And my soul aches when I think
You moved on, and left me behind

Not even a call, or a visit
Not even a cheap card
Is letting me know you care
Really that hard?

And as a year is marked
The thought goes through my head
I give myself a reason for it
I reason that you must be dead.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005