I Wish Again

Years and years flash by
Within a minute in my head
Every single time I wanted to die
But ended up living instead

All the trusts I had betrayed
All the friendships that were fake
Every mistake I’ve ever made
Coming at me, forcing me to break

All the bruises both out and in
The fights I paid the price for
And every last scar on my skin
Memories so old but still so raw

All the times I cried alone
Just wanting love and hope
And a place to call my own
Reminding me how I can’t cope

And all those lunch times at school
When I hid in the toilets, petrified
Cos I was bullied for not being cool
All the pain still flows cold inside

And the memory of saying age ten
That once I was sixteen, I’d be free
I believed it would all be better then
But at 17, I’m still caught in misery

And as I toss and turn, hours on end
Just wishing this would stop, make it go away
Wishing I had someone to call my friend
I wish again for God to let me die today.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005