Begin to fade....

I look from above
At the life that I lead
My eyes sting but I hold back,
As if it's what I need

I see everything that I go through
And everything I faced
I see you holding hands with him,
I realize I had been replaced

I can no longer hold it in,
The tears just seemed to rush
I couldn't stop myself from crying
And my face soon grew flush

I looked across the room
And saw a shiny silver knife
Picked it up and ran so fast,
Knowing it was about to end life

I crossed the streets and
Went around the corner
Stopped in front of your house
Soon to be a mourner

I rang your doorbell
With a smile on my face
You answered and
I was embraced with your grace

I was surprised by this hug
That you gave me
I looked into your eyes and
Saw this was how it was meant to be

I couldn't hold it anymore
The knife fell, as did my tears
They're in your arms
I lost all conscience of my fears

You looked at me in surprise,
As if I did something wrong
You wiped my tears and
Said this is how it was supposed to be for so long

I tried to forget that guy,
Unwanted in my mind anymore
I held you tighter but
In sight I saw him at the door

I pushed you away and
Ran as much as I could
Through unfamiliar streets
Going as far as I would

And then I saw a shimmer
In my hand from within
I looked to see I had the knife
And slowly came a grin

It was still daylight
But there was no one in sight
I couldn't help but cry
And hold myself tight

In my own arms
Now I was alone
The knife lying beside me,
And then the ringing of my phone

I look to see surprised anyone cared,
And then in a burst of shock realized you called
I threw my phone and tried to stop the noise
My face was appalled

Why had you tried to reach me?
You could've just had been with HIM
The thought just raced through my mind,
And I thought about how things were

I remembered all the memories,
We had made once together
All the times we were walking
And saying we'd be one forever

A smile came to my face
And then fell all my tears
As if forgetting happiness
My mind was flooded with my fears

I kept on crying and
Soon a puddle formed on my jeans
I think about you
And wonder what it all means

I look, my eyes seeking above
I watch you down from hell
There you are your arm around him
For some reason my pain and hatred is all gone and I just wish you live well

There you are talking in tears
A dozen red roses in your hand
You stop at my grave kneel down and place the flowers
And I guess in some way I now understand…

I read my grave slowly and at the end it read
‘Killed with my own hands
Suffocated by the pain he made
Now to be forgotten
My life has ended and I begin to fade’

© Copyright Christina Gomes 2005