Confused

I hate you but my heart loves you.
Every time I see you
Another piece dies.
Its so hard to disguise
When I still have ties.
At first it was hard to love you
because I was scared
I couldn't dare it
I wouldn't share this
Now look where I am
I'm stuck on you
After all we went through
Secretly wishing and dreaming
Why couldn't it work out?
Why did you always shout?
Then come and apologize
But that was a long time ago
When you were mine
Now everyone hates me
I get the blame
All because your obsession
I bear the shame
Now I live in constant depression
Being happy is foreign
So now as my tears pour
As my blood flows
Why did it always come to blows?
I feel like I can't live anymore
I'm so alone
Since you walked out the door
I'm so confused
Too much emotion
All at one time