You'll never know

Way down Deep inside my heart,
Behind a door that's shut and locked.
You will not get there, do not try.
My heart's back door, behind my eyes.

Do you still need me? Let me know.
If I'm not needed I will go.
You won use me, not again.
I cant believe I called you a friend.

The darkness stored within my veins,
It may be all that keeps me sane.
My fading hope, now growing despair.
God, you can change it, this isn't fair.

Why must i sit and wonder why,
My opportunities have passed me by.
All the times i could've given up,
Drank kool-aid from a poisoned cup?

Why cant I die, Why am I scared?
Why must I love, Why must I care?
My heart is cold, Might as well be dead.
Morbid thoughts now fill my head.