Smudged lipstick and mascara tears

I cant stop thinking about it since i met you
i thought id stopped you told me to
i thought everything would be ok
i thought id stop feeling this way
i thought you'd make everything right
i thought id be able to sleep at night
i thought you'd never hurt me
i thought you were my family
i never thought you were like the rest
i never knew i was second best
i never assumed id be sitting here
with slashed wrists and mascara tears
i thought that wed find a way somehow
i didn't think id be doing it now
i thought you were my medicine
but really you were my depression
i cut so much more since i met you
i never believed it was true
its now at the stage where its an addiction
the blade and my wrist I'm loving the friction
with mascara tears streaming down my face
i never thought you'd put me in that place
smudged red lipstick swollen eyes
i never knew you'd tel those lies
i thought the best didn't expect the worse
now i feel like i am cursed
would you cry if i was to die
i used to think yes but i guess thats the lie