The pain I have

The pain I have inside
After hanging up the phone
Is so powerful that it over powers me?
And I can’t control it
I drop to my knees
I have tears falling down my face
I can’t take all this pressure
So I take a knife
And I drive it down my arm
I feel the blood running down my arm
I see a puddle of blood around
I say to myself
“ What’s wrong with me”
“ Why do I do this to myself?”
The pain I have is when I look and I see those scars
The scars indicate the times when I was dumb and I had no other way out
At times I feel I’m not loved and nobody cares
Even though I know that there is someone out there that loves and cares for me
At times I don’t understand anything
I don’t feel anything
I have no feelings towards love
I don’t know how to act
The pain I have inside is so deep in my soul that neither you nor I can ever find it
My heart is a solid rock that rarely few people enter in
The pain I have inside is etched in my soul