Falling fast

Darkness locked inside my brain
Where I try to kill my pain
Pictures changing on my walls
From a girl who climbed now a girl who falls

As my feelings magnify
Away from here I wish to fly
So at last I can be alive
But I have no reasons left to strive

I feel the beat of my blackened heart
I sit and rip myself apart
Losing in my final fight
Taken into darkened nights

Sleepless tired cold and sad
Constant feelings always bad
My inner feelings come to life
In me when I stain the knife

A little bit of consideration
Stop the pain, dicscrimination
Amplified anger in my head
Lie awake, in fury in my bed

Held down by the strongest ropes
Destroying all of my small hopes
As I no longer have ambition
Again I make a deep incision

Never sure just what to do
Dream of lying next to you
Lust and love and sadness binds
A love from you, I will not find

Somebody tell me what is wrong
Why I am so weak not strong
I'm not who I wanted to be
To myself I am sorry

Inside me the darkness swirls
And my madness does unfurl
Like a demons blackened wings
Like the song the sirens sing

Coursing through my broken body
Lashing out at anybody
Lost the spark that was in my eyes
Controlled by feelings I despise

Growing there inside my brain
A power which is more than pain
Feeding on my angry thoughts
Happiness cannot be bought

So now I am falling fast
Searching for a rope to grasp
To stop my now steep descent
Wondering where I will be sent

Hands are clawing at my soul
As I am now not a whole
But a broken human being
Pain the only thing I'm seeing

Tendrils of evil slither from my mouth
In the curses that I shout
Meaning so much more than words
Like little evil devilish birds

Flying around in conversations
Losing my determination
To sort out the truth from lies
Sit down on my bed and cry

Tears of blood run down my arms
Causing myself too much harm
Manifestations wander round
Covering bloodstains on the ground

Tears of pain and memory
Remember who I used to be
But that person is no longer here
Eaten away by all my fear