Asleep with a hole in my head

by Unrequited   Mar 14, 2005


In my dreams the sky is gray
and rain is coming down
my eyes pour out my salty tears
and clouds of black are all around
the spirits in my darkened soul
whisper to me “goodnight”
now i fall asleep forever
and die alone tonight

in my dreams my soul is broken
alive, but is not well
i connect the dots of sadness
as i’m falling down to hell
i still can hear my echoed voice
yet my body cannot move
i know i am not dead…
i’m asleep and dreaming
with a hole in my head

i seek redemption of my heart
but it will never heal
i am forever broken
i just wish that i could feel

a sickness is in my head
a poison is in my soul
my tears pour out my sockets
my wounds have taken their toll
i know i am not dead,
for i was never alive…

in my dreams i find true love
brought together by fate
my sadness i have overcome
but it is way too late;
i shudder inside my darkness
and realize my love was never there
my dreams now have no purpose
without love, i do not care

i am in my dreams
and nothing is real anymore;
my jaws are clamped together
my eyes are stapled shut
a mask is over my head
my wrists are forever cut

in the end, darkness has won
and brought my life to rest
and if i could not find true love
then maybe dying alone was best
because of life i have no feelings
a hole is in my head
i am thankful that i am over
no more tears will i shed

my life is finally over
it gave me too much pain
i hope you do not cry for me
for happiness i have attained
in my dreams i find true love
and it will never die
and even though it isn’t real
it is a feeling i can’t deny

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by nightschild

    Another excellent poem
    but this one is so sad :(
    well done
    xoxoxox
    ~*MaRy*~

  • 14 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    I enjoyed it. I'd say that the only part that bothered me at all was the goodnight tonight rhyme used at the ending of the last stanza... That sort of rhyming always bothered me because it sounds like you're repeating the same work twice (most likely because they are both compound words, which is a shame). I would have greatly prefered it if you just got rid of that rhyme altogether, although you might find something to replace it if you are inclined to do so.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    I enjoyed it. I'd say that the only part that bothered me at all was the goodnight tonight rhyme used at the ending of the last stanza... That sort of rhyming always bothered me because it sounds like you're repeating the same work twice (most likely because they are both compound words, which is a shame). I would have greatly prefered it if you just got rid of that rhyme altogether, although you might find something to replace it if you are inclined to do so.

  • 14 years ago

    by Red Tears Of The Soul

    (claps) well done, great flow and rhyme scheme. Great emotion put into it, great job. ^_^x

  • 14 years ago

    by Rolo

    It was deep, but the flow was off. A lot of the rhyming was forced and a lot of the content was repeated. It could use some work, but it does have potential. Keep writing.

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