Suicide thoughts

Cut my wrist cut it deep and bleed to death
take my last single gasp for air trying to get my last breath
my soul leaves my body heavens its wanted destination
but with god Ive never really had any relation

I don't know what I'm doing I just don't want to care
for once I just wish people didn't want to be there
I don't know what I want I don't get what I see
why do I have to be the person I am Why do I have to be me

so i take my finally journey to the heavens I make my way
because on this earth I couldn't go on living another day
but when i got there my name wasn't in the book
all because it was my own life I took

so they sent me on my way to face hell and hell alone
I was like alright it cant be any different then where I live no different then my home
but when I got there I faced it alone
realized this would always remain my only home

but I don't know what to do when I'm so fu**ing hurt
its like my worlds crashing down its all becoming dirt
so when I know what I'm doing I be sure to let you know
on whether I choose to live and stay or die and go

*please comment its a bit suicidal but I'm really upset right now*