Comments : No one

  • 18 years ago

    by Jeff

    Great work..keep them coming.Jeff

  • 18 years ago

    by Amit

    Nice write, don't be sad and don't think that way! :) smile please!
    5/5. Take Care, Always Believe in Love, Amit

  • 18 years ago

    by ?

    I've felt that way, and this was very well written, but remember someone always cares! Keep it up and smile as much as you can :) xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Ann Stareyes

    Nice write, But you're wrong, I do care. You take care and love ya bunches, hugs, lots of love *Ann*

  • 18 years ago

    by Jesse

    Very sad poem....things will get better, trust me.

    Jesse

  • 18 years ago

    by M J U

    Amanda......if it makes you think any different, I would certainly listen, care and notice! I have something very special coming very soon so please look for it. I started last evening and will try to complete it today. I love your words to me. Thank you and I too, wait with great anticipation to hear your words again.

  • 18 years ago

    by AnotherJournalEntry

    Exactly how I feel all the time!! Great work!! XOXO, Jennifer

  • 18 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    wow excellent poem! i love it, i feel like this so many times in my life! really captured the feeling!

    ~PLP~ lil slam~ lots of hugs and love~

  • 18 years ago

    by M J U

    Amanda..I don't want to waste space in comments so check for message in Members Message Forum under the heading MU4AB. I reread this poem because I've been feeling a little down lately. Yours' are always the very best for me.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean

    It's a good poem, and i liked it for the short snappyness of it but it seems very solid in theme, like there is only one interpretation possible from it and it lacks a poemy feel to it.

    You've wrote better, but this is still a good piece, only thing i can suggest is improve the flow between lines as everytime you see 'I could' (to me) it's hard to get back into the rythum of it.

  • 18 years ago

    by EoB

    This is, as Sean said, a good poem

    Yet i feel it lacks something...

    pardon me if my English sucks right now, but I am seriously drunk.

    The problem with this one is that it remains the same from beginning to end. There is no progress.

    I think, and this is probably just me, that you need a conclusion. Try so surprise the reader..

    peace..

    By the way..

    I recall one starlit night.
    Like a thief before the kill,
    the wind blew, oh, so light.
    and stole my sense away.
    I threw one oar in the water
    and thrusted it down with the other
    and broke the second in two

    This line, in my poem the river, tells of how I would gladly lose myself in someone....

  • 18 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    It's so sad! I also sometimes feel this way. Love your work.

  • 18 years ago

    by JAY Poet

    Great poem i feel the same!!!!!

  • 18 years ago

    by skyfox

    WOW your sure do have a way of transporting emotions with words. I love how you have constructed this and how you have conveyed the desperate lonliness.

  • 18 years ago

    by silhouette fairy

    Short and simple i like it

  • 12 years ago

    by Harry Bryant

    Many people care even now years after you have written this wonderful piece, I have been away for a while, not incarcerated but just lost my desire to write, and here I am again reading and thinking of others. keep up the great work. your friend harry