Lost love- to mom

You say we have to act godly
that theres a better place far from here
but you have to stop telling me that
for then its the worst you should fear

living is no longer an option
pain is no longer a toll
all the drama comes and goes as needed
making my reason for living no loner feel whole

you yell at me as if every things my fault
and everything i do is wrong
so i keep my mouth shut
instead of telling you i couldn't take it for long

you live to see my cry
never wiping the tears off my face
sometimes it makes me feel as if
I'm a disgrace

and for that this has happened
i wanted to take away your pain
although, I've always loved you
you drove me insane

i am no longer with you
no longer here to talk
no longer here to clean after you
or take a walk

but i will always listen
for the sound of my old mother
until then you'll know
you made me like no other

for even though all the pain is still here
i still love you
and although you never said it back
i know you loved me too