Wrong category - undesired

Unprepared, unthoughtful, my words are simply empty
Is there anyone out there who feels like they can help me?
I mean seriously, is it true that love only seeks to teach lessons
or send us Divine heavenly blessings?
I'm at a loss of words, so I construct these lengthly poems
Using synonyms of related words strung together in semi-explosions.
I feel remorse for the way I'm so indecisive about my own feelings
I've been hurt too much in the past, my head is still reeling
In truth its my heart that continues the process of healing
and my soul that learns coping is different from dealing...
My body grows hot, the flashes come like sparks of fire
Why is it I always seem to belong in one category - undesired?
Love is nothing if there is no common bond of souls
Nobody argues, there is no struggle for control
I seek that out in every relationship I am involved with
Its like an unknown reason to pretend to happily live
sort of similar to regret, but not the type everyone is used to
and I'm sorry if this poem seems to repeatedly confuse you
I'm just spewing forth the inner intangible source of fire
once again i admit - it seems I'm somewhat undesired......