Taking back

Woke up and just laid staring at the ceiling, wishing I could break this feeling. I walk to the kitchen, the ground is cold. I stir my tea
and envision your hold.

The house is silent, but I can still hear your voice. Sometimes, I wonder if I made the right
choice. I get ready for the day a head, I just want to run and hide in my bed.

As I look in the mirror I stare at my puffy purple eye, with make up I cover it up or at least try.I put lipstick on to try to cover my cut up lips and wear a longer shirt to cover my hips.

I get on my way to work before he wakes for the day. my hands shake as I drive away.
On my way to work, I thought about when we were young, and that old club where all of us hung.

I remember promising never to leave each other’s side. That memory always made me cry no matter how hard I tried.

At work I just sat at my desk and wrote my reports for my boss. People stare at my bruised face as they cross. If you saw what he did you’d have a fit. You’d say it’s wrong to be hit.

I think about how my life would be if I did not leave home that summer day. if I did not go with mum, but I stayed. Dad would not have drunk himself to death and I would not be married to a man addicted to me-th.

That day I had to turn away from you, was the worst day of my life. I wanted to keep my promise and become your wife. I’ve never seen you cry until that moment in time. It felt worse than committing any crime.

As I drove home that night I stopped and stared at the stars and remembered the one we called ours. Three from the moon
and one to the right and I wished on that star with all my might.

When I got home he was already passed out on the bed. I walked over to your son kissed him on the head. As I watched him sleep
I thought about his dad, you never got to hold him when he was sad.

The dad he knows does not even care if he’s alive, he can’t take the screaming he is only five. So I thought hard and I thought long and I decided to right my wrong.

I packed our son up and hit the rode and drove to the only place I called home. When I got to your house I just stayed in the car and decided to continue since I made it this far.

When I went up to your door a woman answered it. She asked me to come in for a sit. Your house was beautiful and so was your wife. I was so jealous cause this would have been my life.

When you came in you were saying something and you stopped, and I laughed as your jaw dropped. I hugged you and you started to cry. In your arms I got an instant high.

I told you I brought a surprise and walked you out the door. I opened the back seat and picked up him I knew he would not be sad any more.

When I put him in your arms you gave me a confused look, I told you he’s your son and you softly shook. You took him inside and watched him as he slept, I saw a few tears fall as you silently wept.

After a few minutes to motioned me over to the chair, you whispered to me “he has my hair..” I just nodded as a tear fell down my cheek and as you talked to him I became weak.

You finally took him up to the guest room and tucked him in so tight and gave him another kiss goodnight.

As we sat at the table we talked about the old days we use to know, like the time when I broke me toe. And you carried me to the doctors to get made better and when we sent my mum that letter.

Then you brought up the promise and I bowed my head in shame. You asked after I left what became. As I told you I started to cry, when I was done you asked me why.

I told you because I thought I loved him but I never did, I told you I love the man who fathers my kid. You went silent and I told you “I’m sorry I better go” you just grabbed my arm and told me no.

you told me you still loved me and I was surprised and you grabbed my hands and looked in my eyes. You told me you did not love anyone as much as you love me and with me you still wanted to be.

You told me how you keep my picture by your bed and you think about me all day. I was so shocked I did not know what to say.

After that you and your wife got divorced and so did me and mine, I hear they both found others and are doing just fine. Me and you got married and our son has loads of friends, finally my happily ever after begins…