Losing My Own Battle

Every night I lay in tears,
Ashamed of what I’ve become,
Too tired to pick myself up,
And actually be someone.

But between the violent screams,
And the pitiful arguments,
I find I’m breaking up inside,
And living can’t be worth it.

Constantly shielding myself,
To the point of self-destruction,
I’m getting weak, falling again,
From the heartache and corruption.

This time it won’t be okay,
The pain’s made me lose hope,
And without that I am nothing,
No longer can I cope.

I’m losing this lonesome fight,
The one I’ve fought for years,
Getting tired of waking up,
Drowned out from last night’s tears.

So I’ll die a lonely battle,
Alone I’ll sit and rot,
Counting the days, ‘til honestly,
I will have been forgot.

But when you notice I am gone,
I have once final request,
I don’t want a funeral, just a tomb,
To engrave the words, “I tried my best.”

-Megan Schroeder 2005