This is not a poem (Part1)

This is not a poem just some feeling i need to get out of myself
i screwed up again i had to choose between 2 things i don't know if it was right what i chose and iv cut myself hoping to die i want to die and get this all over with i feel like I'm hated they threatened me and yelled at me then they say they love me i feel like I'm living a total lie everything i do goes wrong i tell the truth and it backfires maybe i should lie some i haven't ate in 2 days and i cry every night before bed and now i feel a bit better getting this off my chest