What he doesn't know

He doesn't know that I cry myself to sleep.
He doesn't know how much hate I have to wards him.
He doesn't know when he doesn't talk to me I hurt.
He doesn't know how much this is wrecking my life.
He doesn't know anything about me; my desires, my dreams, my goals, my fears,
He doesn't even know my friends, boyfriends, or even my hobbies.
He doesn't know the only good memory I have is of when I was little.
He doesn't know how hurt I was when he called me fat and I needed to lose weight.
He doesn't know I had no friends then and all I had to turn to was food.
He doesn't know how hard I try to lose that weight now.
He doesn't know what its like to be called anorexic by your friends because of that.
He doesn't know how irritated I get when all he talks about is sports and not me.
He doesn't know when Aaron feels pressured all the time.
He doesn't know how horrible I feel when I don't see him sitting in the stands at one of my games.
He doesn't know that this makes me cry.
But most of all, he doesn't know that I'm ashamed he's my father.

** My father doesn't understand what its like to be me. He doesn't know what i do on a daily basis. I was really upset one night when all he talked about was golf with Aaron, I had to leave the room. i got on the computer and got all ready to do my homework when he came out and started pressuring my brother to do so well.. I never realized that he does that. I had to leave the room again to fall into the arms of my mother where I know i will never be left out or pressured so much that i won't be able to do well...so pretty much i wanna say...i love you mom, and thanks for all your support...and my friends too....you guys support me like crazy (well some do!! if you know what i mean) but cya...please comment and vote..I'll do the same for you