Perfect Death

Have you ever thought
about the time when you go?
When it will come,
God only knows.
I'm thinking of death
all of the time.
Thinking of when
my words no longer rhyme.
I think of how it will be
for the ones I love
thinking of what it's like
to be going back above.
I would always love to see again
the people who have gone before.
I'm always thinking of this,
plus so much more.
The thought of death
gives me no fright
But to those who love me,
it might.
What would they do
if I left today?
Would they know what to do?
Would they know what to say?
Will God let me out?
Will He soon set me free?
Free of myself,
who i don't want to be.
Or will He make me suffer
as i struggle through this life?
When will He finally let me go
and end all of my strife?
Will God take my life
or will it be something I do?
I'll be in the end of this life
and I can start over new.
I'll take my life by myself
Help, I don't need.
I'll take my life with drugs
I just need a lot of speed.
I'll slit my wrists, I'll bleed to death.
No one will ever know
No one would have known it to be me
Did anything in me show?
I'm going to get the knife now
I'll soon be gone from here
I've got the knife, I'm making cuts
Death, I never fear.
Most people are dying to live,
but me.. I'm living to die.
I may look happy
but no, my whole life is a lie.
Now I'll tell the truth
I hate the life I'm in
I hate the way I always lose
It's not possible for me to win.
I hate the people
who hate me back.
I hate the people who think I'm perfect
when perfection is what i lack.
I hate the way I'm living
I want to meet suicide.
No one will ever care
or even notice that I have ever died.
It will be calm and quiet
No one will ever know
My death won't be very quick
But it's going so slow.
It will be a perfect death.
I'll play my favorite song.
It will be a perfect death
Nothing will go wrong.