Tainted tears

Pain and hurt
Sorrow and fear
These are the essence of my tainted tears
Unhappiness and hatred
Misery and dread
The four little words that engulf my head
Depression and distress
Regret and despair
Self inflicted realities that cloud my air
Damaged and worn
Lost love and lost life
The reason for my ever-enduring strife
I don’t know how to be true
And I don’t understand contentment
Mere survival is my pattern
Fear, tiredness and resentment
I no longer dream of a better tomorrow
No thoughts past today
Faith has vanished
Reality was the toxin that washed my hope away
Trapped in an unforgiving circus
I wonder how it would feel to be free
To taste pure summer air
But impenetrable are the chains holding me