DeAr SeLf-HaRmEr.....(to you, and others)

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT....this isn't to make self-harmer's mad...just to let you know....no matter how bad it gets...to try and stay tough..

to all you self-harmer's out there,
i know what your going through,
please just listen to my plea,
i have suggestions as to what to do,
now you wonder now i know,
i guess ill have to share my life,
from the first and last time,
i was introduced to my knife,
my father had a mental illness,
therefore me and my brother were abused,
for a very very long time,
our innocent Young bodies had been used,
now my fathers gone,
he packed up and just left home,
my mom is a single mother,
poor mommy...shes all alone,
only one thing though,
she didn't take him leaving well,
for after he had left,
my life was just a living hell,
i felt like Cinderella,
for she was not home to do the mom chores,
it started to take over,
i never slept or ate right, i worked till i had sores,
my brother held me in his arms,
each time i cried at night,
let me know everything was OK,
let me know wed make it through alright,
well you know what,
one time what he did wasn't OK,
everything in life i thought i knew,
all fell apart that day,
my own flesh and blood,
touched me like i was his girl,
beat me more because i hit back,
made me physically sick, id go and hurl,
which led me to bulimia,
every single time i would eat,
i would go squat down, throw it up,
think again and rise to my feet,
i new i was skinny and in shape,
but you see all those girls out there,
everything about them perfect,
perfect smile perfect eyes and perfect hair,
it all passed over soon,
thats when i attracted a guy,
cute eyes cute smile outgoing,
made me laugh he wasn't even shy,
i thought i loved him too,
i felt he was gonna be my soul mate,
he slowly touched my feet..ankles..knees..thighs,
until he raped me on our 5th date,
not only that,
but he ganged up on me with friends,
every frigging time..it hurt,
they wouldn't stop for hours on end,
you know what sucks,
all this and more has been going on for long,
and to this second it still does,
i used to turn to everything wrong,
cutting..burning....punching...kicking,
i even turned to salt and ice,
so many suicide attempts,
i thought i was the one who should pay their price,
then i realized i had a future,
even if they still hate me,
I'm hoping they will look back...if their still alive,
that they open their eyes and see,
how much hell they put me through,
maybe even they will cry,
not from anything..but knowing what they did,
go back..and realize....and find a way for themself to die

not the best ending, i haven't had a good night..ill try to rewrite...