See, Hear, Speak.

I watch the world roll by my window
as I sit
leaned against the cold glass.

The train bumps and tumbles along the long metal tracks
making my body sway and thump against my seat
into which I am securely bucked.

I can't see the end of the tracks.
They twist off into the distance
over mountains and through valleys,
like some beautiful metal snake.

But no. That does not work at all.
My life is not like a train.
My life is not like anything.
My life is like my life.

And as muc--

Darkness.
A great wave of darkness.
No, not a wave.
A great expanse of darkness.

I am not scared.
I just am.
I am not really anything.
Perhaps I am a little sad.

I remember the--

I don't remember anything
I can't do this.
Can't write.
Can't draw.
Can't dance.
Can't speak.
Can't hit.
Can't love.
Can't hate.

I am blind
deaf
mute.
I beat my hands against the walls of my
beautiful
glass cage.

and scream silently.

There is no one coming to save me.
My fate and I are alone.

I am at it's mercy.
While it is at mine.

So we sit.
There.
And stare at each other
Through the thick glass.
Each unable to do anything without the consent of the other.

Like the snake eating it's own tail.

I cannot give It consent
Without first asking It.
And It cannot give Me consent
Without first asking Me.

So we are stuck in the conundrum of my life.
Unwilling to proceed
Unable to proceed.

I get up occasionally,
restlessly pacing my cage.
It moves with me
like a shadow, mirroring my movements.

Or am I mirroring It?

Suddenly the world slips away
and I am laying in a giant field of grass and wildflowers.
Clover tickles my arms
as a wind tumbles across the trembling ceiling of green.

I am laughing.
I am not alone.

I sit up, giggling into the brilliant sunlight of the afternoon.
I am in love, I remember.
I am in love and I am here, now.
I close my eyes and turn my face up
towards the gentle heat.
And listen to the world around me.

Birds chirp
and sing.
The grass rustles off to my left
and a jackrabbit is visible for half a second
then gone, back into the tall field.
The wind brushes through my hair
and whispers soft secrets in my ear.
Something taps gently against glass.

And when I open my eyes again
I am back in my cage,
sitting with my back to the glass.
With something
Tap
Tap
Tapping

and the world stretching out
like a beautiful red carpet.
Outside the walls
of my invisible prison.