Why cant i b 1 of them?

I sit and watch
all the people go by
i see their happy faces
and i wonder why

why cant i be happy?
why cant i be one of them?
why am i depressed?
why cant i smile like them?

why am i in the dark,
and they are in the light?
they love being alive
but I'm putting up with a fight

i try to take my life,
they laugh and play
i cut my wrists
day after day

I'm crying alone
while they are smiling with friends
I'm asking myself why,
why cant i be one of them?

i feel so different from the world
but still i wonder why
when they laugh at a joke,
all i can do is sigh

i sit up of a night and cry
they dream happy dreams
why cant i be one of them?
but impossible it seems

i died inside and out
but they could never tell
i finally surrendered to them
because my life was a living hell

They were my friends
but i didn't fit in
when they smiled and laughed
i was trying to hold tears in

i left them to their fun
and killed myself with a knife
so i didn't have to live through the pain,
tears, sorrow and strife

I cut my wrist with the knife
and brought my life to an end
with one question still in my head
why couldn't i have been one of them?

~~~like most of my other poems, this is how i feel, the only thing not true in it is me killing myself, please comment, it means allot to me~~~