Living H E L L

I don't want you when i cry
it's her name i call
she is the one who cares
and you don't catch me when i fall

you don't love me
but i love you
i wish i didn't
but i do

i wish you cared
that you felt the same
i wish you wouldn't snoop
sneak around like a child's game

i wish i understood
why you scream and yell
why you do this to me
make my life a living h e l l

you're supposed to be my mom
and always my friend
i supposed to count on you
until the very end

but i can't
and wish i could
because believe me
if i would

but i you'd just tell him
tell my dad
he doesn't care either
i just make him sad

u rarely ever see him
and when i am supposed to
he has work
and there is nothing i can do

i don't want much
a hug and i love you
show me you care
so i know you love me too

you always just find something wrong
and blame it on me
but it's not always my fault
and no one's perfect can't you see

it was your choice
to have a baby
sorry you are upset
because you got me

but this is who i am
you made me this way
now you don't look at me
and there is nothing you can say

all i feel is disgust
that's coming from you
you might not know
but i have feelings too

a family is supposed to be fun
and have happiness
it isn't supposed to feel like crap
not like this

it's never going to be different
nothing will change
everything would get confused
and lots of things rearanged

as long as you and them are happy
the twins and him
no one notices me
oh here it goes again

i cry and cry
scream and yell
the musics beaming
this life is h e l l

3/3/05