Another crappy, depressing poem.

I'm regressing ever further,
Through a childhood of woes,
Memories of the past that I
Have wrapped in present clothes.

Head tipped back toward the sky,
I'll look for you with greed,
My dreams more haunting every time,
Inside me grows your seed;

Of anger, pain and punishment,
A darkening tapestry,
Of physical starvation,
grasping love that has to leave.

I want to feel your arms around me,
Yearn to fear your tainted touch,
I cannot live without the pain,
You put me through too much.

Now yesterday is reality,
The future's out of reach,
I cant escape your dirty embrace,
It crawls all over me.

So I beg you never stop this cycle,
Of inevitability,
I cant imagine a simple life,
Draped in normality.

I hate you with such passion,
That it burns and sears my skin,
And yet I still must crave each night,
Your sickness deep within.

I know that I am different,
I'm not like those who win,
I accept that I am f u k able,
I'll always be your sin.

But now I'm growing desperate,
Can't function without abuse,
It saddens me - what I've become,
An instrument of your use.

And I pray that you will hurt me,
A little more today,
And deepen the cracks in my sanity,
I deserve it to be this way.

There never was a battle,
So I had no chance to win,
My angst has overcome me,
And I'm bleeding from within.

I'm crying as I write this,
Because it's as I feared,
I cant go on without your pain,
I need the red hot tears.

I tried so hard for solitude,
I cried out loud for a friend,
And now I'm so far down this road,
The torture cannot end.

Cos this is my true calling,
I'm here to be in the way,
And this is why you must interfere,
With my each and every day.

So kill me when it's over,
At least you'll have your fun,
And I'll just sink a little more,
Than the distant evening sun.

There won't be any tears,
They'll all know what I was,
And scorn at my lonely headstone,
But humanity comes at a cost.

So this is to all you w an kers,
Who left me here to rot,
And told me I was crazy,
Helped dig my final plot.

And even though I'm underground,
I'll never cease to tell,
Of everything they thought of me,
When it's you who constructed my hell.