Why do i do these things??

Why? Why?
am i stupid
or blonde
or both??
none knows.
Here i am again,
regretting what id done,
wishing i could
turn back time.
Yet again
I cant,
So I'm stuck
with my thoughts
of what Ive done.
You wont believe me
if i told you what id done.
I know what your like
but you have to know.
I yes I
Calley Hookway
got in HIS car
We went for a drive.
We pulled over
in a field.
We started talking
then he leaned in.
He was so kind,
and gentle
for a man
of his age.
One thing lead
to another
and he fingered me
but that was it.
I know its wrong
but i couldn't help myself
at the time.
I was curious.
Now i regret it,
he is 17 years older
than i am.
He is old enough to be my dad.

So why?
Why do i do these things??