How is fair that you have everything?
Everyone's your friend no matter what you do, no matter how you look
They're always there for you no matter what you do
Why do you get all of that and I get nothing?
How is it fair that you go out every night with these friends?
While I sit home alone
They all come over, have a good time, and I just sit there pretending
Pretending that I’m having a good, not minding the fact that I’m with all of your friends and not mine
Offering me a drink, trying to help me fit in
But can't you understand, I don't want to fit in with your friends, I want to fit in with my friends
I want to go partying and drinking with them, not with people who don't really want me there
People who are like, well she's here and there's nothing we can do about it, so why not include her
I don't want to make people feel like they have to include me
I want people to actually want me there, I want to feel welcome
Not forced into a situation but in one that I want to be in, that I’m comfortable in
But no one understands that, I guess that they think that it's fine with me
That I don't care that I never go out with people my own age
That I like to be with them and watch them laugh, drink and have fun
In a way it is my fault though, because I don't act like a fun person around my friends
Because I don't want them to see me as someone who drinks to get away from it all
Which I do, I drink to get away from the reality of life, of my life
Why live it when I can just grab a drink and wait for my problems to disappear
Because it works, it really does, I have a couple drinks and I forget about the fact that I’m alone
Alone sitting in my basement while all my friends are out
Drinking alone, no one knowing, not even the people at home
Drinking my problems away while I do stupid things, like confess my love to someone
Stupid, I know, telling someone that you like them when you know that they don't feel the same way about you
Why put yourself out there when you know that nothing will ever happen
Then regretting it, and trying to avoid them the few times that you see them
Even though you only see them like five times a year
And when you do see them, you don't talk to them, and they don't talk to you
I guess it's because I put on a front, I act like I don't care
Like I’m too good for them, that they don't deserve me
When it's the total opposite, I don't deserve them, I don't deserve someone as good as them
Someone who would treat me like royalty, and give me everything that they could
But it's true, I don't deserve that, I don't deserve anyone
Which I guess is why I'm alone, totally alone
No one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to tell my problems to
Because no one cares about what I have going on in my life
But my god do I want them to care
I'd do anything to have someone who cares about me, just someone to talk to
But who knows when that's going to happen
For now I'll just keep going on with this thing called life
And do my best on my own.
