What Did I Ever Do.

What did I ever do
To deserve this pain inside
To deserve to hate myself so
To deserve my brother to die.

I’m not the nicest person
I admit that with all truth
But why do I have to feel this way
Feel the way I do

Why did I have to loose
Someone who was so special to me
It hurts without him here with me
Do you think he can see?

It hurts me even more
To think about his pain
To think it got so bad
That suicide was the only way

Is it selfish to think
About how it caused me to feel
Or should I just remember
He got the best of the deal

All I have is memories
On paper or in my mind
To remember how my brother was
And what he left behind.