Suicides Less Than Nothing

I grieve for someone who never existed,
When I think about my life it’s really quite twisted,
Pushed down when I just wanted to stand up and be listened.

I’m told depression is an illness, that I’ll heal on the inside,
Someday my feelings might change but I’m not about to wait,
I made a date with fate and I don’t plan on being late.

Prescriptions raped for the medicine they hold so dear,
Just like her glistening eyes and that beloved virginity,
Do you know what its like to only see a beast in the mirror.

So many addictions needing tending too,
I had an affair with lady morphine tonight,
And I’m so confused about what to do.

Then there’s the ‘girl’ that saves me,
Every time from my night terrors,
She can see right through all my layers.

What to do when you’ve wanted to die,
You love but still you have to lie,
Just so she can get through her worst.

I’m afraid if I killed myself I might wake,
So I sit here and wait for the stakes to rise,
I fear being alone, but is it worse than this?

Ian Robert Potapoff