My fight with depression

*ATTENTION*

IT'S TRUE.
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I try to be perfect so hard
I try to love everyone I can
But once in a while someone tears my heart apart
And it makes me so sad

I don't want to start cutting
But then again I don't want to stop
Every time my heart lifts
A weight makes it drop

Its like my lifelong story
Of faith's sullen hurt decree
I want to be beautiful...
But I also want to be me

It hurts like a thousand blades
That want to just jump on my skin
The hurting pain to see if I'm alive
Breaking the veins within

Sexy scandals only a label
Like seduction or fresh lust
It burns like a million knives
Lit fresh with distrust

Life goes on,life continues
It just seems to abandon me
My best friends all loved me one time
But my family life went in the dumps

I can't say the story
The pain's too much to bear
If you tried to probe my mind
You'd be the one living my nightmare

I should have had good memories
Like Water world and Disneyland
I never got to go to those places
I was treated secondhand

I had millions of loving memories
But they all had to do with my friends
If I could live life without my family
I would never have to bend

They're the reason I hate most of life
Mommy,daddy,bro
They're the people who hate me like a demon
They always say no

Its never yes never yes
The blade is screaming out to me
It's winning the battle
Of who I'm supposed to be

I think of all my memories
With all my gracious friends
I realize without them
My life would already be at an end

The knives
The scissors
Glass from a broken picture frame
The cutting doesn't have to kill me
I don't have to be the same
I know my friends love me
They wouldn't mind if I lived with them
Only good friends would risk it
I can't believe my naiveness was this thin

Blade,you don't have to win
You don't have to kill me now
My life without my parents or brother in my life
I don't need a planned suicide to show me how

I'm breaking my depression,my friends will always be with me
I'm living my life new free to see
Thanks to all my friends for sticking by my side
Thank you all for not letting my true self hide

I have to breathe with love again
I have to live life with no end
I'm special
I survived
I'm independent
I don't need knives

Goodbye,stupid blade
That almost killed me
Out with the old in with the new
So I could finally see

You always were the thing that brought me close to death
You and my family hated me above the rest

Thanks to my friends for accepting me
For the true self I am the same
It almost killed me with my depression
I was almost the blame

Thank you so much
You all helped me
I don't need to die yet
I don't need to even live for my family

I'll always live for my friends whom I will always love
I'll always be an angel who was just from above

Thank you my friends
Making me okay
I love you so much
I know the faith will stay

Beautiful is nothing
When you're sad on the inside
Now I realize I don't have to be beautiful
No feelings do I need to hide

Emerging from my empty shell
A rose with all its leaves
Wonderful with tears rejoice
The lock will start to ease

Moon among the clouds
I'm going to start out slow
I know to change it might take time
But winning this fight just lets me know
Depression doesn't have to be forever
It will always be near me
That doesn't mean I need it
I will live....
to be free