So Deep

I gaze out upon the world,
From my shadowy keep,
I just sit and wonder,
As to how I got so deep,
I used to be so happy,
Or so that’s what they thought,
They could not tell my smile was fake,
‘Till the day I was caught,
Once they all found out,
How hurt I was inside,
They just kept asking questions,
So I set my friends aside,
I thought I did not need them,
To help me make it through,
But now I’m so depressed,
I don’t know what to do,
Now I have realized,
That I need them after all,
Now that I don’t have them,
I suddenly feel so small,
I pushed them all way,
And now I’m all alone,
They’re not here to help me,
I have to make it on my own,
I don’t think I can do it,
It’s getting way too hard,
My wrists are so sore and red,
I’ve become forever scarred,
Maybe just a little deeper,
And the pain will go away,
Then it would be all over,
No more crying every day,
No need to write a letter,
For I will not be missed,
Most of these people,
Don’t even know that I exist,
So I get up of the ground,
Put my bag up on my back,
Leave my little sanctuary,
Never to look back,
I walk towards the toilets,
With a smile on my face,
This will be the last time,
I’ll set eyes upon this place,
I walk past one of the people,
That I had once befriended,
She whispers to her friend,
But I am not offended,
I continue into the bathroom,
I put my bag down on the floor,
From inside, I get my scissors,
The ones that I adore,
I gaze into the mirror,
And stare at my ugly face,
“Oh my god, I hate myself,
I am such a disgrace,”
I look down at my scissors,
As I grip them in my hand,
I admire their gleaming beauty,
No-one seems to understand,
A smile spreads across my face,
As I bring them to my skin,
I slowly push against them,
Making them dig in,
I push a little harder,
As I slide them up my arm,
Out comes my blood,
Ridding me of harm,
As I push even harder,
Everything starts to fade away,
I fall towards the floor,
Now this is where I lay,
And when someone finally finds me,
I know exactly what they’ll say,
“Oh my god, you know that weird girl,
She killed herself today,”
I will just be gossip,
But the story will be changed,
To some people, it won’t matter,
But some may be outraged,
But it does not really matter,
For I’m not there to care,
No-one will miss me,
I was never really there.